Nursemom Confessions Part 1: How do You do it All?
I wanted to start a series on this blog about my real life here being a mama to 2 boys, registered nurse and family nurse practitioner student. I asked my boys about possible names, and we decided that some were just too long or confusing. I did like Nurse Life coined by Matthew and Mama-Student-RN Stories by Isaiah. Call me dramatic though (thank you) and I will admit that I love having "confessions" in the title. On my former blog Cadavers and Coffee which I used through my journey of nursing school, I did a series called Confessions of a Former Teacher...and quite honestly it was some of my best, funniest, bring tears to your eyes work. You can hunt for them here when you have free time and/or if you want to further understand me and my WHY:
Any who, I may not be a teacher anymore by trade (though still licensed at this time), but I still have some pretty great "confessions" that I have gained in my almost 3 years as a nurse, 13 years as a mom, and starting my journey through NP school. I wear many hats. I am a pediatric triage/advice RN two days a week and some weekends, a mama all the time even when my boys are with their dad (you never stop being a mama), and now I am an NP student which I diligently attempt to cram into the other 3 weekdays the boys are at school and a few hours on the weekend, but I know that will leak out everywhere as well. And...as if my plate was not full enough, I try to get in exercise 5 days a week (strength training, yoga and/or Pilates), attend church and some church functions, and will be beginning to volunteer with the local pregnancy center a few times a month.
My confessions today are not heart-warming stories (though I have plenty to share), but they are in response to what I am asked all the time how do you do it all?
My honest-to-God confession: I don't.
I try hard to pick and choose what matters to me in this season of my life. What can I cut out? What can I squeeze in?
*Please note that due to some layout/color changes Part 5 is hard to read but SO worth reading-just take your cursor and highlight then the text will appear. Like magic ink!
Okay friends, apparently when I attempted to re-number these back in the day it did not stick, so YEAH I know there is no official Part 1 and two Part 5 sections. Oops. I cannot edit as I closed the blog-it is read only. To my OCD friends...I'm sorry.
This is the one that still makes me cry to this day.
Any who, I may not be a teacher anymore by trade (though still licensed at this time), but I still have some pretty great "confessions" that I have gained in my almost 3 years as a nurse, 13 years as a mom, and starting my journey through NP school. I wear many hats. I am a pediatric triage/advice RN two days a week and some weekends, a mama all the time even when my boys are with their dad (you never stop being a mama), and now I am an NP student which I diligently attempt to cram into the other 3 weekdays the boys are at school and a few hours on the weekend, but I know that will leak out everywhere as well. And...as if my plate was not full enough, I try to get in exercise 5 days a week (strength training, yoga and/or Pilates), attend church and some church functions, and will be beginning to volunteer with the local pregnancy center a few times a month.
My confessions today are not heart-warming stories (though I have plenty to share), but they are in response to what I am asked all the time how do you do it all?
My honest-to-God confession: I don't.
I try hard to pick and choose what matters to me in this season of my life. What can I cut out? What can I squeeze in?
Things that I don't do (often):
- I don't volunteer at my kids' school very often at all. Barrett and my dad do help a ton with sports. I am rarely there. It was even said to me at a conference, "So nice to see you this year." Yeah. Cringe. I felt pretty defensive...What I do end up helping with are bigger things I can put a few hours in and not have repeat commitments. This means I have helped at book fair a day here and there or running the concession stand at sporting events a few times a year. Do I wish it was more? Yeah..kinda, but my kiddos know I love them, and they (we) have a great tribe. How many kids can say their Pop (my dad) assistant coaches their team?
- Feel guilty about my faith. We are not the best church-goers. I care. Really, truly, but we average about 1-2 times a month. The sermons we miss are genuinely due to A) I am at work, B) our family is camping or otherwise gone, or C) yeah...I'm sleeping in because I am exhausted. I do read a devotional each day, my Bible a few times a week, and we talk about faith and pray everyday even if it is just a blessing over meals. Room for improvement? Absolutely! But on the right track.
- Cook. Okay, I am SO lucky that my man loves to cook and takes pride in it. My boys are learning to as well. I am not super domesticated myself, and I can cook a few things to edible levels, but don't very often. I am pretty lazy when it comes to the kitchen.
- Clean the whole house. I clean. Barrett cleans. The boys clean. Our robot vacuum cleans. I love a clean house, but with 2 kids and 2 dogs it is often just passable. I have laundry piles like everyone else, things shoved in closets, bedding that needs washed more often, and dust (always dust!). I rarely take time to clean the house from top to bottom though. I am not the only one who lives in it.
- Work outside. My parents, my kids, B and I all share one giant, dual-living home (which has separate entrances, kitchens, etc). My parents love to garden and landscape and Barrett is good on a tractor. I give some opinions and every now and then plant a few flowers. Sometimes I wish I had more time, but my time outside is generally spent studying and enjoying the prettiness my family has created.
- Over-extend myself at work. I could have worked 3-4 days a week this first term of NP school, but I wanted to set myself up for success while beginning my program and form some better self-care and study habits. Before even applying for NP school, we looked at our budget and just how far back we could cut it. I cut my hours in half for school and work no more than 19 hours across 2 days with the occasional weekend shifts. It's just enough to help financially, and to keep getting RN experience, but not too much to compete with school.
Things I do to be successful:
- Sleep. I regularly get 8-9 hours a night of sleep. It is a must. I can survive on a bit less, but rarely do it. I am not a good sleeper, as I wake a ton, so as I see it, I need more time for it.
- Exercise. I used to never exercise. I really don't enjoy it. But I AM making time now almost every day to do something. You won't find me spending more than 20-30 minutes at a time, or running a marathon, but it's a start, and I do feel healthier.
- Family time. I go to any event with my kids that I can. Obviously if work or live class session gets in the way, then I am not there, but I make about 50+% of all sporting events, choir, piano recitals, etc. We have dinner as a family every single night, and on weekends the boys are with us we always have a family afternoon or evening. Barrett and I try to have dates 1-2 times a month. I am trying to spend more time with my parents too, and with Barrett's grandparents. I don't get a ton of time with friends at this point, but it is a season.
- Time for me. I do see friends for coffee or a meal a few times in a good month, but some months are worse than others. What I definitely make sure I have some time for each week is ME. I get my nails done, blog, read (fun books not school), and watch shows with my hubby.
- Time for interests. I volunteered at Pregnancy Alternative Center years ago and mentored a teen mom. I will be volunteering again because it is a cause I believe in so much.
- Keep perspective. When it all feels like TOO much, I remind myself that everything has a season. In a few years I will be an NP, but also in 7 years my youngest will be 18!! So I try my hardest to BALANCE this life in every season.
- Ask for help. My kids help around the house, B cooks and runs boys places, my dad helps coach and makes breakfast in the AM, my mom helps me research and study at times (and helps with boys). When I don't understand a concept I talk to my instructors or I pick the brains of the doctors I work with. I am not alone.
- Schedule. I am the family event planner. Truly. I know when everyone has what work, sport, lesson, doctor appointment, you name it. I have this posted in our home office and kitchen and my desk at work. It lets me know when I can carve time out.
- Multi-task when I can. Okay, I know this is supposed to be a bad thing-to multitask, but honestly how would I get anything done?? I listen to audio lectures on my commute and watch lectures at lunch with my phone and headphones. If I know I will be waiting somewhere (like kids' pick-up line), I have study material with me. I listen to lectures and walk or clean house, do laundry, or lift weights.
Those are not the hairiest of confessions this time, but I will have some good ones for ya, so stay tuned! How do you manage the many hats you wear?
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