Sarah Who Wanders...

 I am reading a book right now that is one of the most amazing, soul-searching, hallelujah-I-totally-agree-with-you-on-so-many-things types of books. It is called Untamed by Glennon Doyle who writes in a style similar (to me anyway) of Elizabeth Gilbert whose work I also adore.  I don’t agree with everything the author writes about but I agree with the premise that many of the narratives that women are given by society and put upon themselves make us feel small, caged, inadequate. I highly recommend the book. I am fired up today because I read a comment in my book group on Facebook (that is full of many lovely strangers who love reading just as much as I do). A woman wrote in that she felt that the book was insincere. She felt it was not possible that this woman who writes about all of her hardships and triumphs in a beautiful memoir could’ve possibly experienced all of this because she comes from a life of privilege. Wait, what??? Let me stop for a moment. I’m not talking abo...

 We are eleven days in to the new year. The year after...well...2020, the year that many people don't want to talk about. 2020 was a tough year, but for our family it was also a time of growth, change, love, faith, and flexibility. My heart goes out to families who indeed had it much rougher.  I start this year with hope. I am 39 now as of 1-1-21, and ready to take on the world! Or my little piece of it that is. Last week I was lucky enough to receive my first dose of the COVID vaccine and will receive dose #2 in a few weeks. I pray it works and that everyone else has the opportunity soon.  In 1 week I begin my LAST term of NP school!!! Wow!!! Can you believe I am writing that?? In just 15 weeks I will be done and scheduling to take board exams. I only need to amass 89 clinical hours this term though will aim for 150 or so as the experience is invaluable. I hear the course I am taking is a doozy (can't finish with an easy one can we?), but I purposely set up my academic p...

There is a lot of pressure that comes with wearing the white coat.  I was SO excited to get mine before beginning my clinical training and to take the White Coat Oath. A rite of passage. Why? Well, it isn't the coat itself at all.   Patients see the white coat and they expect answers. They expect to be listened to and to reach resolution. They respect the white coat. Let me tell you, it takes a lot to earn the proverbial white coat whether it be a doctor, nurse practitioner, or physician assistant. It is hard won. Behind that symbolic white coat -that isn’t even always worn, because let’s face it, sometimes we don’t want to because we are overheated, or we want to appear more on your level and some people don’t like the white coat for it makes them nervous, and sometimes it just doesn’t go with our outfit but I digress…--- The symbol of the white coat represents a lot. It represents years of hard work, in the case of nurse practitioners it represents years of patient ...

 Crazy, overwhelming, exhausting, satisfying, engaging...all these words encompass my life write now. I am in Term 6 of 7, 5 weeks in and dog paddling in a swirling ocean. Thankfully, this girl can tread water tirelessly for quite awhile. 😏 They said term 6 would be tough. They (whoever they are) were right. The material is dense. I have hundreds (no joke) of pages full of concepts to learn per week  right now. I legitimately am having to buy a 2nd 3 inch binder for the second half of my course. It's THAT much. On top of that is my family medicine rotation-which is also A LOT. I am also still working 16-20 hours per week in my RN job which may not seem like much but with this schedule is also SO SO MUCH. The good news is, I am learning so much too. I am only on social media once a week or so right now and had to drop my side business (which I had largely been ignoring for months). But, life is good. Despite the crazy schedule, tumultuous political climate, a change in custody...

In another life I was a teacher married to a police officer. We had two little blonde boys. I dreamt of a bigger life for myself- or maybe just a happier one. I enjoyed teaching, but it had never been what I wanted. It was a career chosen because the degree was "convenient" to obtain while I worked full time as a treatment coordinator in a dental office. My husband at the time had dreams too, excitement on the job, and a home full of children. I think in some ways we each failed to be 100% honest with the other in what we wanted. He wanted the stay home wife and home cooked meals, but we could not afford for me not to work (that also was not my dream). I wanted travel and adventure, and big scary goals in medicine that kept getting pushed further and further away. I don't think any one reason led to our failure, to a marriage full of anger, resentment and broken dreams. I think we both grew up and got to know ourselves better. A few days ago he says to me "yesterday ...

I have missed writing very much. This may have been the LONGEST I have gone yet without a post. Here is an update for my friends and family who follow along with my adventures.  CURRENTLY:   These days sometimes it feels hard to get a deep breath (and not because I am sick! 😂). My schedule changed drastically in May and went from working in clinic twice a week (with my halftime hours back thankfully as they were reduced due to COVID for a bit) and having class three times a week to working twice a week, having class twice a week, and having a full day clinical rotation twice a week. I feel a lot busier because I am now actually gone from home twice as much but still having classwork, homework, and tests to study for!  My nurse practitioner program is 28 months long and I have a little over nine months to go which means I am (finally) on the downhill. That doesn’t mean it’s easy coasting right now though by any means. I am learning at a rate that is mentally and phys...

I began writing during week 2 of this stay-home movement if you will, so I will give a brief synopsis of what life was like during week 1 for my household. I hope sharing this journal gives you hope, laughter, and insight. I hope it lets you know that we are all in this together as we experience a range of human emotions. Last week (week 1):  For the first few days we talk of little other than Coronavirus. Are we taking this too seriously? Not seriously enough? What does this mean for everyone? Surely our leaders are looking at China and Italy and making informed decisions, right? Right?  We struggle through the first week of “offsite education” for the boys, at once both annoyed with it all and thankful their education will continue without huge disruption. The boys are so resilient and adapt to their new online routine. I figure out how to videotape science projects and photograph homework to help them send in. Isaiah realizes his bday will be much different this ...