A Journey of One Thousand Steps (Are we There YET?)

I have missed writing very much. This may have been the LONGEST I have gone yet without a post. Here is an update for my friends and family who follow along with my adventures. 

CURRENTLY: 

 These days sometimes it feels hard to get a deep breath (and not because I am sick! 😂). My schedule changed drastically in May and went from working in clinic twice a week (with my halftime hours back thankfully as they were reduced due to COVID for a bit) and having class three times a week to working twice a week, having class twice a week, and having a full day clinical rotation twice a week. I feel a lot busier because I am now actually gone from home twice as much but still having classwork, homework, and tests to study for! 

My nurse practitioner program is 28 months long and I have a little over nine months to go which means I am (finally) on the downhill. That doesn’t mean it’s easy coasting right now though by any means. I am learning at a rate that is mentally and physically exhausting most days. Reminiscent of my nursing school days, the  learning curve is STEEP. They had warned us then, upon graduation, there is still so much to learn. All of the new information and hands-on skills to learn can be exhilarating and terrifying all at once. There are moments of joy over simple understanding and tears from anxiety.

                                              

I just completed my very first clinical rotation which consisted of seven weeks, two days a week, spent in pediatrics. I should note for those who don't know, clinical is unpaid time spent not just shadowing, but learning and doing. It is hands-on time with actual patients that I pay for as a requirement of my training. I point this out, because my sweet dad thought I was making tons of money with all the time I was gone. If only...haha!  I was able to complete 109.5 hours there. It was a great first clinical rotation and learning experience where I got to learn from one of my favorite pediatricians ever. I was really hard on myself when first starting in the rotation because I’ve been a triage nurse in pediatrics for 3.5 years, but that does not mean that I knew what I was doing as a provider! My training as an RN helps, but it is a whole new world so to speak. I am definitely still a rookie, but I feel like my examination skills have improved immensely. I feel like I am becoming quicker and am able to answer most questions on the fly.  Of course there are times when I have no idea what to do and ask my preceptor, and that is why this is all part of the training. We all have to start somewhere though, right?

WHAT COMES NEXT?

A new rotation for me begins next week, and I will spend 112 or so hours in a quick care rotation. I think that will be very interesting and a totally different change of pace. After that (come fall), I move on to family medicine for a double rotation of 14 weeks. I really pray I like it or at least feel like I can tolerate it… Because that feels like a super long rotation! 

After that, depending on if I still need women’s health hours, I may do a short OB/GYN rotation and then hope to come back to Pediatrics with a different doctor for a few weeks. My final rotation (unless something changes which it very well could) will be in pediatric psychiatry, and I’m looking forward to that. There is so much up in the air right now with everything in the world that I am aware that could definitely change. I also know that if I am one of the very lucky ones who is offered a job before I leave my program, then if they want me to come for a clinical rotation- that can be a great transition so we will just have to see. 

It’s hard to believe that I will literally begin applying for a job in approximately four or five months. That doesn’t mean that I will be offered one right away as the whole thing takes time, as does my licensing and testing when I complete my program. Some places are open to that and know to build that wait time in and others don’t even want you to apply until you are much closer. So flexibility is the name of the game.

IN THE FUTURE?

I am starting to be asked what I am looking for when I complete school, and that’s a tough question, because ultimately I am looking for a job!  But I also want it to be something that I can enjoy and grow from. I also don't want to work more than 4 days a week, so desire some flexibility in the scheduling. 

Ideally I would love to work in pediatrics, or in a family practice setting where a large part of my patient panel was children and young adults. Long-term, but I understand it may take time to get there, I would love to work primarily with adolescents and young adults and to focus on integrative health care. What that means is I would like to do physical exams but also become more of a provider who handles things like anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and sexuality concerns such as working with transgender patients.

 In the future, my university may offer a one-year certification in eating disorder management and treatment, and I think that is something that I would be interested in doing. Oh my goodness! Did I just mention more schooling? Ha ha. Maybe. In the past I have thought about going on and getting a second nurse practitioner certification in psychiatric mental health but I would like to work for a good five years or so (read: after my boys both graduate) after I finish this program and see if that is something I still want to do or need to do. There is a certification called pediatric mental health specialist that is not quite the same but it is when a nurse practitioner has additional training and has completed a few years worth of seeing pediatric patients and taken additional coursework on managing anxiety and depression as well as ADHD and OCD for example. I think that may also be a really rewarding route to get where I long to be. Who knows though? My first NP job may end up being in an urgent care type setting and I might really like it...

ON A PERSONAL NOTE:

We got an old (new to us) ski boat last month, and have already enjoyed some great days out on the lake. The boys' dad has moved to the same city, and we have transitioned to 50/50 custody which we previously have only done over the summer. That was a tough pill to swallow, and my household is still adjusting, but I am deciding to be positive and grateful. My sons have multiple sets of parents and households who just love to spend time with them and who each offer different support, learning, and fun. B and I are doing well, he is still working (thankfully), and we continue to cross household goals off our never-ending lists. 

Anyhow, that’s my update. As of today I am just over halfway through term five out of seven and a test to take this weekend… Happy Fourth of July to me! I am 22% through with my competency hours which means I am about 1/5 through the hours I will need to graduate. Counting the days until the end of this coming April but also taking it one day at a time. Best wishes to all of you and thanks for reading my latest. 💕💖💕