Goals of Solo Travel
I have been wanting to have the courage to travel solo for almost as long as I have dreamed of travel. I love my sons and my hubby-all of which are excellent travelers by the way, but there's something about a trip just for yourself.
Going somewhere I care about going, seeing things I want to see, meeting other people from around the globe. Barrett knows this has been a goal of mine for some time.
It took me years as an adult to even be able to admit how much I actually need it. We all do, but some need it more than others-yes? I was raised as an only child with a half-brother a whole decade older than me. In one home I had TWO bedrooms I played and slept in (yes, I realize how spoiled that sounds). When I married young, my ex actually worked graveyard for years so in many ways I still got that alone time during the weeks-until his shifts changed (then changed back...) and we had children.
Barrett is also an introvert like me, so I get alone time in the way of being able to curl up with my laptop or books, to yoga, to come and go as I please during the days when I am not at work. As does he. He and I both need this independence and then also time to come together. What I never really realized until being divorced and sharing custody (and don't get me wrong-I ADORE when my boys are here-it is a different "season" of the week if that makes sense, and I connect with them knowing I can come back to myself later), I revel in my time alone-and I long for when it is JUST ME. I like me. A lot. I like being alone with my thoughts and dreams that are busy enough to entertain me for days on end. I like having time to think. When I get really stressed, irritated and just up in arms, it is often because I have felt like I have not had enough time to breathe.
I shared with Barrett how incredibly breathtaking in many ways my hours alone in Rome felt-even if I was just sitting in the rooftop garden while my friend rested or uploaded pictures in her room, what an adventure it felt like to speak in broken Italian -just enough to get me a cab and to the airport, waiting alone, browsing shops, even flying alone-not worried about anyone else's needs. I vowed to myself that when we could afford it, I would live a life where I traveled solo for at least a weekend every single year.
I planned a trip to Victoria, BC two years ago and luckily had not paid for it all yet and chickened out. There were so many details to think of!! What would I see, where would I eat, how would I get around? I am a nervous driver in my own town (I hate driving)-so there is no way I would rent a car in a foreign country without Barrett there to drive it! We decided I would start much smaller. I attended a mental health conference in 2020 a few weeks before the world went COVID-crazy. It was 90 minutes away-just far enough that diving up the night before and staying at at hotel was warranted. I did. I got lost a few times. I did not go out to eat or visit the nice pool but instead had room service. I did make it to the conference and home unscathed. It was mostly, a success.
Sometimes, but not always, I struggle with some social anxiety. I would rather stay in than go anywhere. Somedays you could not pay me enough to go to the grocery store because there are people there. Does anyone else have days like this? Other days I push through (or am not even bothered) and talk to everyone, smile, work. I think part of this is being an "extroverted introvert." I never know which I am going to get and sometimes dread the plans I committed to while feeling outgoing! Tell me I am not the only one!?
This spring as school wrapped up for me, I began researching solo travel some more. What exactly did I want and need? What was my reason for doing it? I decided with B on an appropriate (and believe it or not-very attainable) budget for spending 3 nights away. I would need to get all meals, flights, transportation and lodging within the budget. I desired an all-inclusive type accommodation so that I did not have to figure out food or activities. I also knew I desired something to help me grow personally-a wellness retreat, yoga retreat, meditation-something that would leave me feeling healthy-not bloated and fatigued-something that would let me feel refreshed. I looked at a few very nice spa type retreats that had some good deals, but I wanted a bit more. I have been working diligently to discover what I want and be true to my needs (while also being a mom, wife, nurse, student...), and will admit to feeling a bit adrift after the completion of my grad school program. While I am excited to begin working as a nurse practitioner, I am not excited to work full-time, and there are many things to still be clarified within me regarding my wants and needs for more training, possible specialty, eventual side ventures like teaching, etc. Sometimes you ever feel your mind spinning so much you can't even begin to contemplate what comes next? It's like I climbed this mountain with no idea of what to do once I got to the top. Do I set up camp and explore? Do I climb another, nearby summit? You get my drift-I know nothing about mountain climbing...ha!
I found a quite affordable room, program and all meals retreat in Sedona, Arizona that is centered around finding your "true self." Now, it must be said that I am not 100% sure I will buy into (if you will) all of the practices-many based on Tao faith-all of the exercises, the energy vortex experiences, but what I can tell you is that I have always been able to see the many sides of people, life, faith. I am open-minded to the schedule of meditation, tai chi, walks and forming new connections when/if I feel social and doing yoga or reading in my room when I do not. I have never thought that to be a Christian means I cannot have an appreciation for energy, massage, meditation, crystals, yoga, etc-after all I personally believe God created it all. I booked the whole experience including a personal healing session (of what goes into it I have no idea yet), and am excited about the location, healing vibe, and pescatarian fare. This one is "safe" in that I do not have to decide too many things. I booked sightseeing on way to retreat and will be part of a cohort while at the retreat-providing structure to the better part of my days but also down time too. I am excited to decompress and open myself up to finding out more about who I am. And to breathe. To make goals for my next 10 years.
I hope to tell you all about it come fall.
And if you want to join me, by all means, please do! Happy to share info-but I get my own private room 😏
I linked a few great articles/posts below as well on the benefits of solo travel and meditation themed retreats (in case you need convincing). I like what was said about detoxing from the world's clutter for awhile. Where would you go? What would you do? I saw a fantastic looking yoga retreat in Nicaragua I have my eye on maybe for next year...eventually I really want to be the woman who travels to a city in a faraway land and stays for a week or two.
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