Finding Happiness Part 2: Resolutions in July

Thank you for reading about my own quest to find and create more happiness in my life. In order to align my goals and my life with my values, I had to give good thought to what my values even are. I came up with this list of my top 10 values below, though they are in no particular order. These are things that mean very much to me-traits I desire to possess and have in my life. In order to find these, I had to ask myself what made me feel good, what made me feel bad, what felt "right" about my life, and if my current life reflects the things I value most. Tough assignment. I won't share all those answers. These come from The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.

1. Family
2. Generosity
3. Work Satisfaction/Fulfillment 
4. Time for Personal Growth/Leisure Pursuits
5. Compassion
6. Ambition
7. Love
8. Gratitude
9. Wonder
10. Tranquility

In keeping with these 10 values, I designed a list of resolutions for the rest of 2018.

*Images shared are my own and may or may not pertain, just happy to share them. 

Total Solar Eclipse, Lebanon, OR 2017

• I will read one non-fiction book per month on something that interests me and expands my mind. Non-fiction is something I genuinely enjoy reading anyhow. Often it is a book about parenting, marriage, or something psychology based such as personality, though I have read books about medical cadavers, how our gut works, and of course many travel accounts. I thought about making this "read one classic a month" but in sticking with just being myself, I know that this is something I will look forward to. I read about 40-55 books per year, often reading 2-3 at a time and listening to another, so if I want to add in classics I certainly can (though likely won't).

Chichen Itza, Yucatan Peninsula, Mexico

• I will take 5-10 minutes of quiet each day to pray/meditate.  I fail in this area constantly. My mind is so busy all the time, that I tend to interrupt myself when I am praying! No joke. I apologize to God all the time that my mind jumps around. I really want to practice being more mindful and slowing my crazy, busy mind down a bit.

• I will exercise 5+ times a week by going for a walk, lifting weights or doing yoga. Enough said. I need to do this, so I am working on it to become a healthier, stronger person.
  

Painted Hills, Mitchell, OR

• I will attend church 2+ times per month.  I consistently am scheduled to work one weekend each month, and then often we miss another due to being out of town or sometimes just sleeping in, but my spirituality is important to me, and attending at least every other Sunday seems to be a good fit, and to feed me and give me things to think on.

• I will respect my need for sleep, getting 7-9 hours each night. I am pretty good about this already, as I am someone who NEEDS my sleep, believe me! However, there are definitely times I push it and then regret it the next day, being irritable and making poor nutrition choices. And until I can get an IV drip of coffee...

A sunset somewhere, I think Gold Beach, OR

• I will eat more healthfully. See above. I am the laziest food person ever. Like ever. When B travels if the boys aren't here I have cereal. Or toast. Thank God Barrett likes to cook! Left to my own devices I am a grab and go or microwave only kind of gal. These are definitely not the healthiest options. I began Weight Watchers again in January after having success twice before (apparently it is the maintaining weight I struggle with). I have lost 15 lbs and am once again maintaining. Their new Freestyle Plan which now more than ever encourages healthy food decisions and rewards you with a whole list of point-free foods, made it much easier. This taught me literally, what to put in my mouth! I will admit though, BALANCE is needed. If I choose to eat Fritos and dip for dinner one night, a salad the next day is part of my plan.

• I will say YES to time with friends.  So, funny thing. I love my friends. I am blessed with some great ones, and they are even introverts like me, but I suck at making time for them, and even though I always have a great time once out with them, I enjoy when plans get cancelled. Weird? I think it is an introvert thing. My perfect day is a house all to myself with time to write, read, reflect, be lazy, and get some chores done. Possibly binge watch HGTV (newest obsession), Harry Potter, or Grey's. Yep-I am SUCH an exiting person. :)  But, I am working on just being Sarah, so that is my truth.

• I will welcome others into my home without worrying about perfection.  One Sunday at our church we had an impactful message about welcoming others. One of my faults is that I seek and expect perfection before opening up my home, even to just have friends over for drinks or brunch. I know that I have made my family miserable by going around with a mile long list to make sure that the house looks perfect (even touching up paint!!!) before having people over. No more. I want to welcome friends and family even if my home is a mess. Even if it isn't done. We have kids. We have dogs. Barrett and I both work. The truth is that our house, though somewhat clean usually, is never perfect, and I should not think that people who love us expect that of us, or truthfully even notice.

Blue Pool, Maui, Hawaii

• I will create a tranquil home filled with candles, warmth, memories, and coziness. I want my home to feel like a haven to me. This means using nice things now instead of saving them, such as yummy candles and blankets, bubble bath, and fun dishes. This means memories on my walls, and lighting that is relaxing. As we designed the new home, we kept these things in mind. I want all of my boys to feel relaxed and refreshed when they are at home, and to be reminded of all the love and fun we have shared. For us, this means gallery walls of family photos and travel memories, cozy furniture, dimmable lighting, and colors that make us feel grounded and serene, earth and water tones throughout. 

• I will give proofs of love to my sons and husband. In the Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin (this is a great wake-up call!), the author talks about how we assume that our children and spouse know we love them, but we aren't always the best at showing it. Proofs of love are little tangible things that we can do to put this love into action. Examples for me might include: a home-packed lunch with note, a surprise book one of my guys was wanting, a stop at a store to browse things Isaiah likes, cool basketball socks for Matthew, a healthy snack tray for Barrett when he is busy working. Basically just taking that love one step further and being a bit more obvious about it and less complacent.

• I will make time for projects.  Sometimes I love the idea of projects, but I am overwhelmed by the time and planning they will take. For example, a garden sounds amazing, but it takes work. Teaching my kids about the microscopic world of plant and animal life is sharing a passion of mine, but can fill the table with clutter and takes energy I don't always have. These are things that do not require perfection, and I would like to embrace and make time for projects in our lives. Obviously currently getting our home in order is our project!

• I will be more mindful and try to concentrate on the present. I am good (I think) about not dwelling on the past, but I also tend to live with my mind and one foot moving toward the future. I am ingrained to plan and aspire, but sometimes I miss things happening now. We are not guaranteed tomorrow, so I am attempting to live more in each day, each moment. Though, it is truly a ME thing to plan. I am one of those people others hate because I can give you a 5 and 10 year plan, as well as multiple options and contingencies. As with all things, it is finding balance.

• I will not speak negatively of others. This is a tough thing and I am working each day at this.  I will admit that I love a good gossip session. It is fun to share camaraderie and laughter in the moment, but afterwards I feel like an ass. I feel like I would not want anyone speaking negatively about me or casting their own interpretations of my life, because only I know the innermost workings of it. I will seek to believe and speak the good about others, and try to not join in. 

Off of Highway 20, Oregon

• I will expand my mind and try new things.  I am somewhat adventurous, with a desire to try new things like sky-diving eventually, cuisines from other cultures, and new skills that seem interesting. This year: a trip to Turks and Caicos complete with eating conch fritters and a glow-worm cruise, upcoming trip in the fall to Ireland, pottery making with Barrett, gardening, and hopefully more time with a paint-brush in hand (a hobby I began about 6 months ago, but seem to never have/make time for). I would also like to play around more with photography and perhaps take a yoga class in person-though my schedule (even though it is amazing for the most part) never seems to allow. 

• I will swallow critical remarks, and focus instead on building others up. This partially ties into the no gossiping, but also how I speak to those closest to me. I am often too critical, fault-finding and harsh in my constant pursuit of perfection (do you see a theme here?). I know that it is hurtful to my family. Instead I will seek to NOTICE the good things and give voice to those.
• I am diligently working on being and discovering ME unashamedly. I am sarcastic and witty at times, antisocial and introspective at others. I am a mess of contradictions and just trying my best to be a good person, wife, mom, friend, daughter, and nurse. I fail often and try again. In my natural environment at home I am often barefoot, messy ponytail and some sort of Bohemian skirt or dress surrounded by my boys, my dogs, my books and always planning a trip or 5! I'd love to talk to you about things that matter: your hopes, dreams, faith & future, or sit with you in silence and watch a movie marathon. My favorite people in life I can do all these things with. I would give you anything you needed that I could to help, and would never say no to listening. I never mean to brag-just want to share my life and interests and seek (as everyone does) connection and meaning.

  

  Just me.

St. Peter's Basilica, Vatican City

• I will pray and meditate on God's will and timing for my future while continuing to be mindful in the present. I think it has become quite clear to Barrett and I that I will become a nurse practitioner eventually. It is just where my heart and my path are headed. As you may know, it took me a long time to decide that I wanted to be a nurse after I already had become a nurse! It was hard to leave teaching behind, but 2 years in as I write, I am a nurse through and through, and I do tons of education daily in my job. I am still deciding if I should be a general family nurse practitioner or a psychiatric nurse practitioner for children/teens. I am leaning toward the latter. Every-time I think about adding school back into my life right now though, I feel overwhelmed. My new schedule is allowing me more time for me and with my family, though school might be a stretch or a possibility. Once we find out if I am in to Psych NP program, we will figure out details which may mean cutting more hours at work or even changing jobs if I have to in order to maintain some balance.  For now we count our blessings and tentatively look ahead.

Freedom to choose the life we design is both exhilarating and terrifying because we can choose anything, but we can not possibly choose everything.  Nor...can we attempt to do everything all at once.

In just a few short months, it will be almost time for 2019 resolutions. I hope your 2018 is amazing, and I'll let you know how I held up to my goals, and if indeed, I increased my happiness.

Yours,

Sarah