Chronicles of a Migraine
Disclaimer: migraines are so difficult to treat because they are SO individualized. The feelings and opinions on this blog are mine alone, and are not meant to be medical advice or to portray how all migraines work. My son, Matthew, has intractable vomiting with his and has needed IV re-hydration so far in 50% of his attacks. He also has no side effects from triptans when they work. Everyone is different.
I’m pretty sure my husband is a saint. I know having migraines sucks, but I bet being married to a migraineur (actual word yeah) must be very difficult. In a bad month I might be dealing with migraines every other day. I’m not sure what you envision, but I’m not laid up in bed though I often wish this were an option just for a few hours. I’m “lucky” enough that meds work just enough for me to function at about half capacity. I realize this is a blessing because there’s no way my life would work if I couldn’t. How could I be a mom, wife, nurse, and grad student??? So I AM thankful, but I’m also pretty pissed. What, I wonder, could I accomplish at 100%???
On any given day my poor (read:amazing) husband must navigate the mine field. He knows the signs pretty well. Am I whispering (sound hurts)? Am I up for work but showering in the dark (light hurts)? Am I shying away from hugs from him and the kids (touch hurts)? Am I on the verge of tears and taking twice as long for simple tasks (I’m nauseated and very drained)? Am I resigned (I’m used to this normal for the most part)? Or am I angry? Is it a day off and I’m obsessively cleaning the house or getting organized (because I can’t actually exercise or study until my meds kick in but NEED to make progress)? Others won’t see my guard down even this much. Sometimes my kids. I remember a recent outing with my mom where I finally caved and took meds (I often wait as long as I can hoping I won’t need to). “Sarah-why didn’t you say something??” Me: “What would it have changed?” I got used to hiding my headaches in my twenties. My ex hated them... looking back I think it made him feel powerless, so my migraines were often in secret.
Today I woke up with temple throbbing. I had the glorious freedom of scheduling to take my meds and go back to bed- this is the BEST scenario ever with my migraines-hoping to sleep until the pain mostly subsides and until the wooziness and nausea is almost over. Best scenario is an attack before bed, but that’s rare for me. But I couldn’t sleep it off long enough. So I woke up and cleaned and Barrett thought I needed rescue. “Let me. You rest.” I know, that sounds amazing, but it just makes me livid. I’m a strong woman. I’m used to doing a lot, and I despise being slowed down. I vacuumed slowly and took breaks due to nausea. Barrett jumped in and mopped. Excellent response.
The thing is... migraines have made me pretty resilient. Unless you know me well I dare say you wouldn’t know I’m having an off day. Maybe if you’re around me a lot and you see my caffeine intake has doubled or I seem more cautious or quiet. I often won’t tell you. I don’t want sympathy or suggestions (unless I ask), because yes-I’ve probably tried it, am thinking of trying it, or have decided the risks aren’t worth the possible benefits. Migraines are multi factorial. This means my triggers aren’t ALWAYS triggers, and my methods that may help don’t always help. Honestly the only thing that takes my pain away is triptan meds, not oils, massage, dark rooms, etc. Often not even narcotics which are ironically a “backup” if the triptans don’t work. Sometimes Benadryl with triptan and sleep. Like any other chronic but unseen illness- I don’t “look sick”. Yeah I’m nauseated as hell but I don’t puke. Ever so far which in some ways might be worse because A) I just have to wait for it to subside and B) I look to be “just fine.” I’m not. I’m not fine but I know it could be worse. So there’s that. I’m thankful it’s not. I’m fatigued as hell where every. Single. Moment. Is like walking through quicksand for the majority of the day even when the stabbing, throbbing pain subsides (sometimes it doesn’t go away, just improves a bit). It takes reserves of energy I never even knew I had. On a migraine day, I often look really put together. Hair curled perfectly, more makeup than usual... it’s to combat the migraine lurking underneath in any way I can.
A word about triptans: While prescription triptans are the gold standard in migraine treatment, they don’t work for everyone. According to a study published in Consumer Reports, a third to half of all migraine patients get no relief from triptans, and 23-40% experience side effects taking them orally. "While a few patients are advised not to use triptans, many ration them or delay taking them until the pain is acute." (Consumer Reports). Why?? Because only 9 can be prescribed a month. Doctors say they work better the earlier you use them, but often people like me delay because of rationing. If I get 15 headaches a month, that’s 6 too many to treat with triptans!! Yep. What ON EARTH do you do for the rest? The reason is that there are not studies that prove it is safe to take more than 9 triptans a month. Many fellow sufferers and I are like “study me!“ Because obviously we do this when we have enough saved up. Some people even trade meds which I don’t necessarily advise nor have I done, but as a future healthcare provider I realize that this is a problem where the rules seem almost arbitrary…Maybe a career in neurology is calling…For more information about how triptans work, go here: Facts About Triptans: National Headache Foundation. Side effects may include: (Most common side effects)
Interesting fact: we’re all adults here, right? Orgasm has been studied as a way to abort migraine pain due to the rush of endorphins that flood the central nervous system. So... if you can achieve orgasm during a migraine attack...something new to try? I’m sure many spouses would be willing participants.
My meds have kicked in past the nausea and dizziness so it’s time to study, but I will leave you with one of my all time favorite opinion pieces below:
13 Things NOT To Say to Someone With Migraines
I’m pretty sure my husband is a saint. I know having migraines sucks, but I bet being married to a migraineur (actual word yeah) must be very difficult. In a bad month I might be dealing with migraines every other day. I’m not sure what you envision, but I’m not laid up in bed though I often wish this were an option just for a few hours. I’m “lucky” enough that meds work just enough for me to function at about half capacity. I realize this is a blessing because there’s no way my life would work if I couldn’t. How could I be a mom, wife, nurse, and grad student??? So I AM thankful, but I’m also pretty pissed. What, I wonder, could I accomplish at 100%???
On any given day my poor (read:amazing) husband must navigate the mine field. He knows the signs pretty well. Am I whispering (sound hurts)? Am I up for work but showering in the dark (light hurts)? Am I shying away from hugs from him and the kids (touch hurts)? Am I on the verge of tears and taking twice as long for simple tasks (I’m nauseated and very drained)? Am I resigned (I’m used to this normal for the most part)? Or am I angry? Is it a day off and I’m obsessively cleaning the house or getting organized (because I can’t actually exercise or study until my meds kick in but NEED to make progress)? Others won’t see my guard down even this much. Sometimes my kids. I remember a recent outing with my mom where I finally caved and took meds (I often wait as long as I can hoping I won’t need to). “Sarah-why didn’t you say something??” Me: “What would it have changed?” I got used to hiding my headaches in my twenties. My ex hated them... looking back I think it made him feel powerless, so my migraines were often in secret.
Today I woke up with temple throbbing. I had the glorious freedom of scheduling to take my meds and go back to bed- this is the BEST scenario ever with my migraines-hoping to sleep until the pain mostly subsides and until the wooziness and nausea is almost over. Best scenario is an attack before bed, but that’s rare for me. But I couldn’t sleep it off long enough. So I woke up and cleaned and Barrett thought I needed rescue. “Let me. You rest.” I know, that sounds amazing, but it just makes me livid. I’m a strong woman. I’m used to doing a lot, and I despise being slowed down. I vacuumed slowly and took breaks due to nausea. Barrett jumped in and mopped. Excellent response.
The thing is... migraines have made me pretty resilient. Unless you know me well I dare say you wouldn’t know I’m having an off day. Maybe if you’re around me a lot and you see my caffeine intake has doubled or I seem more cautious or quiet. I often won’t tell you. I don’t want sympathy or suggestions (unless I ask), because yes-I’ve probably tried it, am thinking of trying it, or have decided the risks aren’t worth the possible benefits. Migraines are multi factorial. This means my triggers aren’t ALWAYS triggers, and my methods that may help don’t always help. Honestly the only thing that takes my pain away is triptan meds, not oils, massage, dark rooms, etc. Often not even narcotics which are ironically a “backup” if the triptans don’t work. Sometimes Benadryl with triptan and sleep. Like any other chronic but unseen illness- I don’t “look sick”. Yeah I’m nauseated as hell but I don’t puke. Ever so far which in some ways might be worse because A) I just have to wait for it to subside and B) I look to be “just fine.” I’m not. I’m not fine but I know it could be worse. So there’s that. I’m thankful it’s not. I’m fatigued as hell where every. Single. Moment. Is like walking through quicksand for the majority of the day even when the stabbing, throbbing pain subsides (sometimes it doesn’t go away, just improves a bit). It takes reserves of energy I never even knew I had. On a migraine day, I often look really put together. Hair curled perfectly, more makeup than usual... it’s to combat the migraine lurking underneath in any way I can.
A word about triptans: While prescription triptans are the gold standard in migraine treatment, they don’t work for everyone. According to a study published in Consumer Reports, a third to half of all migraine patients get no relief from triptans, and 23-40% experience side effects taking them orally. "While a few patients are advised not to use triptans, many ration them or delay taking them until the pain is acute." (Consumer Reports). Why?? Because only 9 can be prescribed a month. Doctors say they work better the earlier you use them, but often people like me delay because of rationing. If I get 15 headaches a month, that’s 6 too many to treat with triptans!! Yep. What ON EARTH do you do for the rest? The reason is that there are not studies that prove it is safe to take more than 9 triptans a month. Many fellow sufferers and I are like “study me!“ Because obviously we do this when we have enough saved up. Some people even trade meds which I don’t necessarily advise nor have I done, but as a future healthcare provider I realize that this is a problem where the rules seem almost arbitrary…Maybe a career in neurology is calling…For more information about how triptans work, go here: Facts About Triptans: National Headache Foundation. Side effects may include: (Most common side effects)
- Tingling of the skin
- Burning or prickly feeling
- Numbness
- Dizziness
- Dry mouth
- Headache (not migraine)
- Nausea
- Sleepiness
*and yet they are still thought to be a literal life-saver as they can take migraine pain away.
Interesting fact: we’re all adults here, right? Orgasm has been studied as a way to abort migraine pain due to the rush of endorphins that flood the central nervous system. So... if you can achieve orgasm during a migraine attack...something new to try? I’m sure many spouses would be willing participants.
My meds have kicked in past the nausea and dizziness so it’s time to study, but I will leave you with one of my all time favorite opinion pieces below:
13 Things NOT To Say to Someone With Migraines
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