This Season of Life-An Update

This season of life is exhausting. Take Tuesday for example, I worked a 10+ hour day which means I’d been gone from home for about 12 by the time I got home. I am thankful for my job and typically like it quite a bit actually. I mean, would I rather be home? Absolutely. Home is my happy place. But I am very thankful for the amazing doctors I work with and coworkers (who a handful of them I actually consider friends) and everyone else is OK too! It’s a good job and in the grand scheme of nursing it is not an exhausting or physically difficult job- though can be very mentally busy and taxing at times and other times are slower. I am frequently exhausted though. 



My migraines have actually gone from an all-time high about a year ago from 12 to 15 a month down to about 3 to 4 a month which is pretty manageable and honestly doesn’t really require more treatment than I already do at the moment. But they are worse than they used to be and the meds that work make me feel worse than they used to. Probably just part of getting older. But when I do get a migraine now I feel like it wipes me out for a couple of days! I hate to even admit this, but I think that changing my diet is probably what cut them down so much. I am much lower sugar and cheese now, both triggers for many.

Life with the kids is the busiest it has ever been. A long time ago a dental hygienist I worked with (she may even be reading this now) told me she was retiring pretty early from her career because her kids needed her more as teenagers than they ever had before. I feel that. I understand that statement with every ounce of marrow in me. 

There are tough conversations that come up-often when you have no energy for them, school events -that even though they wouldn’t say it they really want their mom at-, and time with friends that is priceless because they actually still want me on the fringes of that. I’m still somewhat “cool." 

I am so thankful I only work half-time right now, but it is still a huge balancing act! There are weeks I spend 30+ hours on lectures, assignments and studying. I listen to lectures to and from work, often on my lunch, and sometimes...sometimes even in the shower. How else can I get it all in??  Speaking of, I cannot keep up with housework. Just cannot do it, and it causes me so much anxiety I can't study...so we welcomed some help into our lives about a month ago. Our housekeeper comes just every 2 weeks, but it is the 2nd best thing I have EVER spent money on (1st is travel...duh). I can't tell you how amazing it is to come home to a clean house a few times a month, the peace of mind that yes...it may not be as often as I would like, but the tubs, toilets and floors are getting deep cleaned twice a month. Oh THANK GOD. 

So this season of my life is perpetually busy and exhausting and distracting as I multi-task often. I live with the knowledge (and some anxiety) that it will only get more difficult and harder to balance when I start clinical next year before it gets better. And honestly starting out as a brand new nurse practitioner I don’t expect much to be better other than my salary! Ha ha ha ha. Next year brings clinical on top of class, work, being a mom, and did I mention Barrett's grandparents will be moving onto our property in the next few months? 

I have also been working really hard on my weight and my body and my eating habits. Something that is honestly also exhausting to monitor. But I am down 17 pounds and feel the best I have felt physically probably in the last nine or 10 years! So that’s a win.

With all of the busyness, I must also say that this season of my life is also very fulfilling. I’m not sure I would choose to balance it any other way. Maybe work even less if we could swing it? As it is though 20 hours a week isn’t too shabby. The time with my kids is phenomenal and I love the young men they are becoming. My marriage has grown and is thriving. Though my friendships might be suffering a tiny bit with how busy I am, my personal growth, capacity of knowledge, and willingness to put myself out there has increased exponentially. I am SO much closer to knowing who I am and what I will and won't accept in my life, and the passions I have. I am very thankful for all that I learn daily and the path I am on