Stop Over-explaining! Embrace the period

Life is going well. I have officially been working just 16-20 hours per week for the clinic, learning a lot in my new role in urology, filling in for my old role in pediatrics😏, will be training in dermatology, and so far battling through 15-25 hours per week of online "live" class, video lectures and study time. I like one class (advanced pathophysiology) and hate the other (research methods).I have made it to a handful of Matt's bball games, and Isaiah is practicing for his first ever piano recital! We leave for Spain this coming Thursday and will be away from kids, family and 4-legged children for 10 days as we explore Barcelona, Malaga, Montserrat (monastery not the island of same name), Granada, and then one night in Amsterdam on way back. I have had a BLAST planning this vacay and hope it is all I have dreamed of and a time to reconnect with my wonderful hubby who is, as always, my biggest fan and supporter of my dreams. 

Last night we got to have a date night, and over dinner we discussed something that I am working on. Amidst the journey to a better me which involves NP school, meditation, prayer, gratitude journal, yoga, less sugar (I now drink my coffee with just a splash of milk and no creamer or sugar. This is HUGE people), reading Girl, Wash Your Face (which I highly recommend thus far), and watching uplifting movies such as "The Upside"-also highly recommend, I realized something of a character flaw in yours truly. 

I am an over-explainer. 

Now, this in and of itself is not a bad thing. You want to get to know me? Despite being an INFJ personality type introvert and highly sensitive one at that, I am lacking the privacy gene many of my type possess. I am not all that private. I am a pretty open book. If I don't share, I am likely to if only asked. I figure, I like me, you should like me, why be secretive? Or at least that is what I would like to figure...

Let me explain. You see, I over-explain often because I want to be liked and to fit in. The attitude above is partially true. I love who I am, but I do care too much that you like her too. And I shouldn't. The over-explaining is not a BAD thing when letting you in if it helps you know me better. It is a bad thing when being apologetic or wishy washy. I too often use a comma or a run-on sentence to word vomit to you especially if I am shy (almost always though people never think I am) or excited. I need to embrace the period instead. Hard stop. This is me.

 Often if you ask about my boys and school, I will tell you they go to private Christian school. And then I feel the need to tell you that my family is still "normal." We are not super conservative, still watch tv and movies, we all love Harry Potter, and we are nowhere near perfect. I am, for some reason, afraid you will think I am too prim and proper, and that my faith will make you uncomfortable. I am afraid you will think common misconceptions about Christian families as referred to in all of my over-explanation. I am only furthering the misconception by doing this. I send my kids to private Christian school because I want God in their education. I want their sports teams to pray, them to worship with friends, and them to be taught morals at home that are reinforced  at school. I send them because my faith is important to me. And I am a cool person. Not because of this necessarily, but certainly not in spite of this. 

I am Christian. And I am cool. ;) No modifiers needed.
I want to go on and tell you that I love all people, that I am non-judgmental (one of the most open, caring people you will meet)...but I  am AGAIN furthering the common misconceptions some people may have. The life I live, not my explanations, should speak to my character.


I don't drink often. Something else I over-explain in an apologetic manner. I don't care if you drink. I enjoy a glass of wine now and then or a Bailey's and coffee...but alcohol is a huge migraine trigger for me. I also am a control freak, and hate to feel out of control. So I don't have it often. I tend to over-explain this too. Not needed. All I need to say is "I don't drink often" or "no thank you, not today." 

I over-explain about school. The sheer amount of negative or jokey comments I come into contact with because I am back in school is nauseating at times. I actually had to lecture Matthew on this the other night because he was like "you're back in school again. Someday you'll be a doctor you've gone to school so much. Haha." Ummm no. I won't. I will be a provider, but not a doctor. I am smart, I do school well, and I love to learn. Poor kid got a 15 minute lecture on "if your wife someday wants to better herself continually by going further in school you will support her and guide her. Never poke fun at someone wanting more." I then went on to explain (because this helps him know me, not because I was apologizing...that I feel called to help and care for people, and that is what I will do). Yes, I am working on a 2nd Master's degree in a completely different field than my first. I am a licensed teacher AND a licensed nurse, and will eventually be a certified nurse practitioner should all go well. I may even add a cert to become a psychiatric NP. Translation-more school. BUT I don't need to over-explain, because I don't need to explain at all. I want to be an NP. It matters to me. Hard Stop. Period. See?

Do you ever do this? I will probably always over-explain some. It is me. I vow to stop over-explaining by means of apology or by means of making something that is important to me seem less so. Key facts about me: I believe in God. My sons are incredibly important to me. My marriage is strong and loving. I believe I am an awesome person. People matter to me. I love to learn. I am passionate about helping others. I love dogs. I love travel. Here I go, time to practice embracing the period.