I Should Probably be Studying Right Now

Can't wait!

I am officially in the trenches of term 1 out of 7 of nurse practitioner school. I have gone from excited to oh my God what did I sign up for throughout most days so far. I thought that nursing school was tough. I have said it before, the work was not always hard, but the sheer live, eat, breathe everythingness of it was exhausting. I have leveled up. I feel like I have learned more in the past few weeks than I did in all of nursing school though I am sure that is not an equal comparison at all, it is just how my muddled brain feels. The A LOT-ness of it is overwhelming. I am in the part-time, 2 1/2 year program as the full-time program actually has in writing in multiple places, no working during this program is recommended at all. So, in order to not totally ruin our finances, I am going slightly longer. I take 2-3 courses a semester for the first year, and then I go to an "immersion" weekend on campus in Boston which will be dreadful (clinical skills check-off anyone) and exciting (white coat ceremony) then start clinical placements which I am sure come with their own basket of terrors, yet right now my goal is to get through first year and into clinical. 

Who am I kidding? Right now my goal is to pass my first 2 classes with the required 83% or above (or the class is considered failed). 

Okay, really truly my goal is to pass each week, each assignment step-by-step. Baby steps y'all, one day at a time. 

I feel utterly, completely vindicated in my perceived (and oh so correct) need to work just 16-19 hours a week. I still wonder how I will get it all in, and YES, I should probably be studying right now. That could be my motto for the next few years. Maybe, I'll make a few sweatshirts up. 

One can only study so much though. To give you a rough idea, I spent 19 hours on school-work last week and 25 hours working. Fill in other gaps with sleep, caring for the home, wife-ing, and mom-ing because these things must still happen too. This week I anticipate 17 hours of work and only 16-18 hours of study due to some other obligations (Matthew has basketball game that I will go watch and neurology consult for migraines that I am going to, I have a hair appointment, we have friends coming over on Saturday, etc) so I may have to step up my game next week for sure. 

What classes should REALLY be called. 

What makes NP school so difficult so far? It is just time consuming. I spent 5-6 HOURS on four case studies for advanced pathophysiology, and another 3 hours researching viable topics for my research class before settling on social media and depression in teens. It is also one level up from RN school I suppose. Not only do I need to know diseases, but I need to know what tests I would order and what they indicate (down to a cellular level) in order to know how I would eventually diagnose diseases. I like that. I like the idea of diagnosing and treating...so I keep trucking. 

In other news, I like my new position at the clinic so far. I will be covering for a few months in urology before floating elsewhere, and it is far more fascinating than I thought encompassing issues such as prostate cancer/biopsies, all things bladder, erectile dysfunction, etc. The nurse can do many procedural things on his/her own even instilling anti-neoplastic medication (think chemo) into the bladder, and assisting the doctors with surgeries such as vasectomies in office. Very cool. The staff is excellent, and I am happy to be there for now. 

Well, I better go actually study. This cancer chapter is not going to read itself.