Sarah Who Wanders...

A little less than two months to wait to find out if I am in the program I am applying to. Every day I doubt. Every day I question myself. Is this what I really want? Will I be good at it? Is this the plan for me? Is the cost worth it? Is the time studying worth it? Do I want to specialize so much? Can I really help people? As I sit here with one of my favorite dinners ever (pad Thai, coconut shrimp, spring rolls, and Thai iced tea), I ponder how much to share and vent. Super moment of honesty here (but don't hold it against me...?): I've been looking around at other jobs lately. I’ve been very bored by mine. I love the people I work with, but not necessarily the job I do. And yet… I am here for some reason. I applied to six other jobs and I prayed hard. I figured I could at least interview and see what I thought, and I don't HATE my job so it'd have to be a good deal to leave.  I prayed that if this was not the route I was supposed to take that God would close thos...

Whoever says that building a house is fun, obviously has never built a house. As I touched up paint for what felt like the millionth time today I said to Barrett, "We are NEVER doing this again." I thought about it for a minute because I will be the first to admit that I have no idea what our future holds, so I amended, "If we ever do this again, we will NOT paint, shelve, trim. We will do nothing ourselves. We will simply write a check and tell some lovely people our preferences." Barrett laughed, and agreed. Seriously though, this past year has been ROUGH at times, heartbreaking at others, and always full of tremendous blessing. We get that, we really do. I would like to think that building a house is a bit like being a 3 year hold handing a stick figure idea to a professional. You get a never-ending stream of reality served to you daily. Those grand ideas? Think a bit smaller. You will hear (repeatedly): "We can't do that on your budget." ...